Venting my emotions.

A minute does not go by that i do not think about you.
Never doubt that i dont care.
I always will and im always there.
It hurts to hear you ask
"Do you really give a fuck?"
what makes you think i dont?
You have no idea how much i love you.
Why are we always argueing?
I hate it when we do
its frustrating and it feels like were drifting apart too
please dont leave me.
I need you .
But your probably thinking
"DO YOU FUCKING NEED ME?"
You say i give up to easily.
I dont ask because you say its not important.
so what do you expect me to do?
Hold a knife to your fucking throat and ask you?
would that be enough effort to show i care about you?

Im scared your having second thoughts about me.
im scared you think i dont love you as much as i really do.
Our conversations are getting awkward and im feeling uneasy because of you.
why cant we talk like before? Like when we first met.
Like we didnt have to care about anything.
How we always had something to talk about.
We never had awkward silences.
But by the looks of it.
It looks like theres going to be a lot of those.
While im lost with my words and figuring out what to say,
You dont want to talk till then.
I HATE THIS FEELING IM FEELING.
Please make it disappear.
Make me disappear.

My eyes tear up as i read hurtful words said by you.
Your pissed at me and dont care a fuck what im going to feel by those words.
As long as you get it off your chest.
those words were never meant to hurt.
The other part of those words were to tell you im glad i finally met you.
IT FUCKING HURT ME TO THINK YOU THINK IM USING YOU FOR THE MONEY.
But if you keep that going, it'll be over honey.
Im writing these things to get it off my chest.
and hey at least i didnt say it to you cause im trying to keep our relationship at its best.




It might sound lamee. but thats just me venting..
Cause i cant vent to aiden about it.
FUCKING HELL.
Im miserable.

♥
Lenny.